Bellwood Principal
From Routine to Ritual
Routines are a necessary part of life. They keep busy families organized, allowing for such scheduled activities as exercise, homework, mealtime, and sleep. Once established, they also minimize family conflict by creating clear and consistent expectations. Routines focus on what needs to be done.
In addition, according to psychologist Barbara H. Fiese and colleagues (2002), rituals help define group identity and meaning. They often convey "an emotional imprint where once the act is completed, the individual may replay it in memory to recapture some of the positive experience." Routines become rituals when they develop into symbolic acts.
According to the American Psychological Association, Dr. Fiese's 50-year review found that "family routines and rituals are alive and well and are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents' sense of personal identity, children's health, academic achievement, and stronger family relationships." In addition, the review found that "family routines and ritualsÂ…offer stability during times of stress and transition."
There are many daily and weekly opportunities for rituals. One of the most important values we can pass to our children through ritual is a love of learning. Established study times are a necessary part of a family routine. Reading together as a family, however, is a ritual that can excite and expand children's knowledge exponentially, as well as create memories that they will want to share with their own children!
As children grow, some families form their own book clubs, with each member taking turns choosing a book that everyone will read. Rituals don't require a great deal of time--just consistency that children can count on. Work out your schedule to protect your family time, both through routine and ritual. It can be a struggle to get started, but once a plan is in place, you will make "emotional imprints" on your children that provide strength through tough times as well as make happy, lifelong memories.
This article was taken from the September issue of Cut & Paste Magazine.
